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The troubles of dating for a polyamorous introvert.

First thing's first. This isn't going top apply to everyone with an introverted persona. my experience, my thoughts, and, my ideals are on display here. I can't think of a better title sadly. This will also be from a straight introverted polyamorous male perspective. I'm sure these things have eben said before, and honestly this is more of a true journal post on my frustrations with the world as it is now. 

 So, dating is one of the HARDEST things in the world for me, and always has been. Recently I found out that a contributing factor might be Asperger's syndrome, but, since it's not professionally diagnosed I'm not going to use that as an excuse, but it may have something to do about my irrational fear that I am going to outline. It's incredibly hard for me to start a conversation about the subject of a first date. Part of this is definitely due to the fear of rejection that EVERYONE has, but certain people can just turn off. While the rest of the problem is societal. Fromn the time i was even close to being Sexually active, as a guy, I was told that I was going to rape, consent, and, all the other shit that SJWs and others claim that we should teach men (Which we have been for about 30 years. No hyperbole.) I've also been told that Men are the ONLY people that can rape.

 So this has put an unhealthy paranoia that anyone I approach with on this subject will consider it Sexual harassment outside of the online medium where they have specific sites for this, and that's The best and only option that won't lead me to be instantly shouted at and or arrested because "HOW DARE I ASSUME THAT SHE WANTED TO HEAR THAT." I understand that this way of thinking may be exclusive to me because of the aforementioned problems but, this may also be the same for a number of introverted people. Anyhow, that pushes me to the online dating scene which is HORRIBLE for men.

Online dating for men is the worst thing. First, the amount of competition is insane. Thousands of men, Some of whom are model-esque or guys who are gym rats. I'm an average guy. A bit bigger then others, (Nice way of saying overweight, as well as over 6'.) I have trouble in the looks department in that case. Second, I have to pay for most of these sights, from $20-$30 A MONTH, where as women on most of these places can do everything for FREE. Hell most sites i can't even send a Message without paying that Premium. I know sites like PoF and OkCupid are free to join and  have success on, However those are looking for a commitment, marriage, exclusivity, something else of the sort, but, I'm looking more for a FwB or a 4th for the group. So the topic becomes even harder to broach.

Bottom line is that for someone like myself Dating is much harder then need be. When I could put up a picture of my female partner, with a profile saying women only, out and get 6 messages in a day for the casual sex idea, as myself, I have to send out 20 messages to even get 1 reply. Mind you I still have to PAY MONEY to send those messages. I'm tired of ell the bullshit surrounding dating. I want to be able just to be honest with people about my intentions. I mean I can but I'd be shunned for them or inundated by fake profiles (Which are the 1 of 20 who respond by the way.) I can't seem to make things work. Granted, I have met a few people online, and have also had relations with a few. In fact my current partner I met online. I sent HUNDREDS of messages just to get to that 1 real person. I hate all of this. 

Apps like Bumble and a few others seem like they are trying to help with that, but them still being superficial, and, causing me as a man to SPEND MONEY to see people who Liked me? WTF? Do you even want me to have success? I'm tired of Having to make the first move. I'm tired of the over competitive market, and how i get a bad rap just for wanting to have sex with someone I find attractive. Which is another problem with online dating.

Now some of you will have followed the link earlier, and, have seen my face and relative size. I don't think women have to be thin just to be beautiful, but some of the people in my area are hiding their face but putting their bodies on display, which, btw, good on you to have so much confidence and comfort in your body, but, I'm not attracted to you if you look like chewed gum. I'm sure you're nice. I'm sure that I'm not in any position to judge. I am just not there. Plump is awesome in most cases, but, there is such a thing as too far gone. Anyhow, I've said much too much. I'm probably going to get nothing but hate if this is ever seen. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone with my opinions and personal experiences but there we are. I'm no catch, but, I want better of the organizations that are supposed to make the process easier. I want to have more opportunity and less judgement from those I'm interested in. 

No, I'm not expecting anyone above a six to respond to me, though it'd be fucking nice, even if it's to turn me down. Yes, I understand that they are dealing with literally hundreds of replies frrom men both sensible and disgusting, and I'm most likely not the type for anyone younger or better looking then me. I just want to be fucking acknowledged. If I have to pay $30 just to talk to say hello, the least you could do is tell me goodbye. And fuck the fakes that exist solely to lead guys like me on and get them to pay into a different site, or, scam them out of their credit card information through false promises of a connection and shit like that. I've dealt with too many of you assholes and I can't fucking stand you.

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